Angry Ninja and Crazy Bird Lady
by snowseph
Summary: Tasked with a mobile defense mission by the Lotus, Ash and Zephyr find themselves heading to the Kuva Fortress. However, after a rocky start becomes even rockier, what was supposed to be a simple mission just became harder...


Angry Ninja and Crazy Bird Lady!

"This is a mobile defense mission. You must deliver payloads and defend a number of locations while I break into the network. Be prepared for heavy resistance... I can't do this without you."

These were the words of the Lotus, provided exclusively to two Tenno as their landing crafts automatically piloted them right in the face of enemy territory: the ever-moving Kuva Fortress, shrouded in mystery and asteroids. It travelled through the use of Fomorian cores, meaning that the base was constantly moving in orbit around the sun at a faster pace than the planets themselves.

The base itself was gargantuan, and was broken up into various divisions all over what appeared to be a giant floating rock. Only the most elite Grineer, under the queen's control, were permitted to guard this entire moving citadel. As if that weren't enough, the security system around the perimeter of the fortress was impressive yet barbaric; shrapnel traps, mines, and even loads and loads of guarded turrets could easily execute even the most careful of people if they take their eyes off for one second.

As the landing crafts of the two Tenno disembarked right outside the perimeter of the fortress, one Warframe per landing craft deployed. The two Warframes that were deployed were Ash, the ninja Warframe capable of offensive stealth capabilities and a few tools at his disposal, and Zephyr, the wind Warframe that specializes in midair combat with wind-based attacks that fare well against gunplay.

They landed themselves in the western part of the fortress, where the datamass was to be delivered to specific locations on the ship. Dismounting on a large floating rock that was moving along with the ship, Ash held the datamass tightly in his grasp, he looked up at the size of the fortress. Zephyr approached his side, her hands on her hips.

"Look at how tall this rock is," Zephyr said, chortling. "Betcha fifty platinum that I can vault across it in one single flap."

"...Now's not really the time to play games," Ash said. "I'd like to get out of here, as quickly as possible without failing the mission, if you don't mind." He folded his arms and sighed. Zephyr nudged his shoulder. She backed up for a moment and assumed a running stance.

"That sounds like the voice of doubt," Zephyr chuckled. "Just check out my secret technique." She took off running on the rock, planting her feet into the ground before lifting off high into the air. She used her wind to boost her up in the stars, reaching up over the rocks on the fortress. Halfway up, however, she was easily detected by the laser-detection searchlight system, and an alarm rang out, causing the turrets that were holed up in the ground to appear immediately, aiming and firing at Zephyr as she had just noticed.

"Haha, oopsie." Zephyr whispered, as Ash quickly threw a smoke bomb on the ground to render himself invisible from the turrets. Zephyr gasped as the turrets opened fire on her, deflecting some of the bullets using her ability Turbulence, before the cannons blasted her back down to the rock that she started at. Her shields were completely depleted as she landed hard on her back. The alarms ceased and the turrets retracted back to their holes, as if nothing ever happened.

"...Well—" Ash was about to speak as he uncloaked himself, but Zephyr stood up quickly and put her finger on his chest.

"Don't say a word or I'll punch you in your dick so hard, you'll be the girl you were originally supposed to be," she warned. Ash exhaled, disregarding the breath he took as he moved Zephyr's finger off of his chest, turning towards the fortress again.

"Let's just get a move on. You've already done us the pleasure of alerting probably half of the base." Ash hopped off of the rock and onto the straight path that led deeper to the base, which was left unguarded. Once Zephyr's shields regenerated, she fell down to Ash's position, a bit slower given her lightweight body type.

"No guards, huh...?" Zephyr whispered. The further they moved in, the warmer it got. The room they entered was bathed in an eerie red light. "You'd think that, for the Queen's Elite Guard, they'd be swarming this place."

"Maybe they're all on a lunch break at the same time," Ash said. His head darted back and forth, checking every corner to make sure they weren't being followed. With the payload in hand, they were coming close to the first terminal according to the map. "...I don't like it. Feels like an ambush."

"If this is an ambush, the party's a bit late," Zephyr said. "As far as they know, I'm dead, after all. Yet none of the guards came to check it out. Maybe they're so sure of their defenses that they didn't expect us to survive, but, that's their fault for being so careless." Ash agreed with Zephyr in the form of a nod, but he kept his guard up nonetheless as they made their way deeper into the base, coming into a cross-shaped hallway.

Suddenly, they heard voices from the left, as a door opened. It was two Grineer Kuva soldiers, holding a basic conversation. Thinking quickly, Ash threw down yet another smoke bomb, and Zephyr took to the ceiling, dangling off of a large wire that was suspended high up.

"So, you're sure she's dead, right?" The first Grineer soldier on the left said. The one on the right nodded and hummed.

"Positive. Our turrets can basically destroy anything with a few rounds. Apparently the Tenno that it targeted was vaporized, and I think it was the wind one... they break so easily."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that. They're basically lightweight," the left Grineer soldier said, chuckling a bit as he cradled his gun in his arms. They turned down the hallway that Ash and Zephyr came from, meaning that they were scouting the area to see if Zephyr had survived or not. By their words, they were so sure that she was dead.

"...Oh, go to hell," Zephyr muttered.

"Eh? Did you hear something?" The right Grineer said, turning around slowly.

"Oh, uh, I mean..." Zephyr stammered to herself for a second. "Ca-caw! Chirping noises... uh... worms being eaten?"

"Dude, chill, it's just a bird." The left Grineer laughed at his counterpart. "Stop being so paranoid."

"Ah, that's right. I must be losing my mind." He smacked his own helmet to try and wake himself up a bit, and they continued down the hallway, moving to the rocks that the two Warframes disembarked at. Silently, Ash uncloaked himself, coming off of the wall that he clung onto. Zephyr dropped down to the floor, one foot at a time as she regrouped with Ash.

"'Worms being eaten?' That's a nice touch, I guess," Ash teased. Zephyr folded her arms, looking away from him.

"Whatever. Not all of us have smoke bombs." She turned, facing forward at the next door in front of them. "Map says that the first of two terminals is in here. We'll upload it and let Lotus do her work, but we'll have to keep our guard up."

"Don't need to tell me twice," Ash said, stepping in front of Zephyr as they approached the automatic door.

Once the door opened, it seemed to lead back outside into space. There was a tall rock cliff on the left, and to the right, there were cannons mounted into the rocks on the side of the fortress beneath them. There were searchlights scanning back and forth atop the rocks, waiting for somebody to trip them. Strewn along the floor were shrapnel traps and explosive mines, which as a result, the Grineer didn't traverse that area. Zephyr pointed up the rock formation and noticed a dome-shaped barracks by the searchlights.

"There's our terminal," she said. "...Man. I can't fly over there, if we trip the alarms this time, we're dead."

" _We're_ dead?" Ash scoffed. Zephyr paid no mind to his remark.

"Anyway, we'll have to get across this minefield first." Zephyr pointed out the mines that she could see protruding out.

"Don't bother counting. Leave it up to me." Ash moved her out of the way, crouching down to the ground. With an open palm, he rubbed his hand across the rocky surface, back and forth as he looked at the mines ahead of him. With a hum of thought, he scooped up some of the moon dust, letting it settle in the palm of his hand before he dropped it on the ground. Suddenly, he then sprung into action, jumping into the empty spots on the minefield. He counted his steps audibly and performed all sorts of various twists and turns as he backflipped, cartwheeled and even had tea with the mines in the field. Once he reached the end, he stood up straight with a chuckle.

"Piece of cake," he said, folding his arms. However, when he turned around, Zephyr wasn't on the other side of the minefield waiting. Instead, she was right beside him, doing small arm circles with her right arm. "How the hell...how'd you get over here so quickly?"

"Well, I just jumped over. Like literally, I counted all of the mines and there's like five of them in a straight line. The other ones that look active have been detonated already and just haven't been replaced." She shrugged and Ash simply scoffed.

"...I knew that," Ash replied, "I was simply making sure you were paying attention."

"Uh-huh. Sure." Zephyr laughed, pointing at the location of the terminal. "Get a move on." Ash grunted in frustration.

Leaving the minefield behind, there was a door on the left that they could use to get inside the rock structure. There was an elevator inside that could easily take them up and to the terminal. It was a slow ride, but once the elevator stopped, the first thing that they could see was a computer, ripe for stealing data. Standing in front of it, however, was a Kuva Heavy Gunner, one that lacked situational awareness.

"What? What do you mean that the Tenno is not there?" The heavy gunner said to the computer. She seemed to be having a voice conversation with the two guards that Ash and Zephyr passed a while back. "Our turrets should have eviscerated it. There must be evidence somewhere!"

"Well, this dunce maybe isn't looking hard enough then," the Lancer on the other end replied. "We'll keep looking just to be sure."

"Good. I will alert the base to keep their eyes out in the meanwhile. Report directly back to me once you're finished." The communication was shut off afterwards by the heavy gunner, and at that same moment, Ash wrapped his arm around the gunner's neck, driving his kunai deep into her neck, killing her immediately. He dropped the body to the side, firmly shoving the datamass into the computer to siphon any data it had.

"I'm in, Tenno," the Lotus said over the intercom. "This will take a moment."

"Uhm, ew," Zephyr said, kicking the dead gunner's body away. "You got blood on my arm. Thanks for that."

"You'll get over it," Ash sighed. "We'll be here for a couple minutes, then we can move on, easy—"

But before he could fully finish his sentence, the door behind them opened up. A lone Grineer soldier stumbled through, his tense body shaking as he appeared to be leaking blood through his armor. Ash and Zephyr turned to face the soldier, assuming a defensive stance. As they did however, the soldier fell down to the floor, breathless. Standing behind him was a dark figure... great power that they hadn't noticed beforehand, apparently. He was the one who struck down the soldier, as he raised his sword and rested it on his shoulders.

"'Sup, bitches."

It was the Stalker, ironclad in his Pakal Armor that was bestowed upon him by Hunhow. Zephyr gasped as Stalker held his specially-crafted kunai, Despair, and was prepared to throw it at them. Thinking quickly, Zephyr swiped her arms in front of her, using her ability Turbulence as Stalker single handedly launched all of the kunai at her directly. As the wind picked up, it deflected each kunai away from her.

"Wha—hey!" Ash shouted. He was pinned against the wall, each Despair kunai barely missing him. Zephyr accidentally redirected them to him.

"O-oh, sorry, Ash!" Zephyr quickly apologized. Stalker extended his hand out, dispelling Zephyr's Turbulence and leaving her wide open as he kicked her onto the console. He leaned his sword back, preparing to thrust it into Zephyr, but she rolled off of the terminal in time to prevent taking a fatal blow. However, Stalker did strike the console head on, and even though it was still functional, it was crackling and electrifying, setting off alarms in the entire base.

"Security breach in sector nine-six," screeched the intercom. "All available Grineer, suppress the area immediately. Repeat…"

"Damn. Sure picked one hell of a time, didn't you, you masked freak?" Ash shouted, yanking the kunai off of the wall to free himself as he reached for the hilt of his Nikana. Stalker jerked his sword, the ever-glowing War, out from the console as he turned his head slowly to Ash.

"Sure did," Stalker hissed. "I knew you fools would be here, trying to sneak away with stolen information, aren't you—"

"Shut up!" Zephyr shouted, bounding onto Stalker's back from behind with her dagger by his throat. Stalker didn't at all seem fazed by the action, but it settled as good enough of a distraction. "Ash, take the datamass and get to the next terminal. I'll hold this bastard off!" Ash lessened his grip on his Nikana's hilt.

"Zephyr, are you serious…?" Ash muttered. As the datamass ejected itself, it was just out of reach of both Zephyr and the Stalker.

"Area completed. Move on," the Lotus said over the intercom.

"Go, you idiot!" Zephyr shouted. Stalker turned his head, striking Zephyr with his elbow to knock her off. However, as he turned to grab the datamass, it was gone and so was Ash. The door shut as he left. The terminal had ultimately shut down at that point, and Stalker couldn't help but let out a grunt, turning around to face Zephyr as she held her chest from the strike.

"You chickenshit noobs, always causing trouble for me, I swear." He stood over Zephyr, grabbing her by her helmet and lifting her up the ground. "But no matter. You'll be my partner in crime, this time."

"Th-this looks like the end of the line…" Zephyr thought to herself. Stalker let out a sly chuckle.

Meanwhile, Ash sprinted up the hallway whilst being cloaked in smoke, running in between the frantic and combat-ready Kuva soldiers that made their way to the first terminal. With Nikana in hand, he carved some of them up, separating them limb from limb with one hand as he carried the datamass in the other.

"Zephyr, you better be okay back there. Even if it means you have to flee from the fortress, you better be safe." Ash continued to murmur to himself, hoping that Zephyr's safety was assured. Pushing through the next door, the terminal was there, waiting for him. Without hesitating, he inserted the datamass, sparing no time as he wanted to get the mission done and over with.

"I'm in, Tenno. This will ta—" Ash muted Lotus immediately, as he needed time to think. As Zephyr was his partner in covert operations like this for a while, Ash couldn't help but be forlorn at the fact that she would sacrifice herself for the Stalker to complete the mission. But that was what being a Tenno was all about; sacrificing yourself for the mission.

"You better be safe or I'll kill you myself," Ash thought. Although it was odd for him to be experiencing such silence in a room full of necessary data, despite the alarms going off. He thought nothing of it, as he was actually thinking back at all of the missions they had gone under. "The time where we were surrounded on Kiste, when we had nothing but our bows... when we were staring out at the stars on Strata, and you found all the shimmering ones... that time when you set me up on a blind date with Rhino—you know what, I take it back. I hope you _do_ die."

"The odds were again—" Ash muted Lotus yet again, taking out the datamass for a personal copy of the data transfer.

"Alright, I'd better hurry up." Ash was rapid upon leaving the room, throwing down a smoke bomb to prevent himself from attracting any further attention. The alarms must have posthumously stopped, as they were no longer going off and the most of the Grineer in the hallway were lying dead on the floor. They left a blood trail leading outside, and Ash decided to follow it, as he thought it was Zephyr's mess.

"This…seems to be leading back out to the asteroid field," Ash thought. "I can't tell if this is her blood, or the Stalker's. So help me, if it's the former..." The direction of the blood trail led back out into space. Ash traversed through the rather large area, as there were searchlights all over and he was fresh out of smoke bombs. The blood trail had also disappeared, despite the numerous body count that lay strewn out on the floor. It was a sickening sight, and definitely something that Zephyr would not have gone out of her way to do.

"Must have jumped over." Ash thought. Crouching down to gain momentum, he leapt into the air, somersaulting clear over the searchlights. They missed him entirely, and he continued further out, where he was nearing a docking bay for Grineer ships. There, he could see a landing craft being parked...it was Zephyr's Liset. Approaching it closer, the door was wide open, yet Zephyr was nowhere to be seen.

"It's about damn time you got here, scrub," a deep voice sounded from behind him. It was the Stalker himself, and in his arms was Zephyr, coated in blood, yet she didn't seem to be harmed. She was, however, unconscious. Ash instinctively spun around, launching his shurikens at Stalker as they homed in at him directly. However, with a simple swipe of his backhand, he swatted away the shurikens as they were sent off flying into deep space.

"Let her go," Ash said.

"Let her go?" Stalker repeated back, before laughing. "Man, that's all you've got to say, isn't it? I was honestly expecting a monologue or something."

"I don't have time to waste on the likes of you," Ash shot back. "Our business here is finished, as is yours."

"That's incorrect." Stalker pointed his blade forward at Ash. "It's funny, really. You two have done nothing but commit sinful crimes on every planet you've visited. Vor, Phorid, Jackal, Lech Kril... all have died by the hands of you two. But, now that the shoe's on the other foot, you're wanting to be granted freedom from your murders? Unacceptable."

"Man. I was trying to avoid a monologue, and yet, this guy just brought his own," Ash sighed to himself. "I wonder how many nights it took for him to rehearse this one."

"...Long story short," Stalker continued, "I'm going to put a stop to it right here. Hand over the datamass, and I'll let you two live just a little bit longer." Ash stared at the datamass in his left hand. "Or, you can take that Landing Craft with you and report back to your 'mother...' alone. The choice is yours."

"A-Ash..." Zephyr spoke, murmuring. She appeared to be coming to her senses. "Don't give him... the datamass. Just get out of here and don't worry about me...!"

"Well, scrub? Are you gonna atone? Or do you just care about the mission?" Stalker's words bugged Ash. But he still had one available trick up his sleeve.

"Alright, whatever." He lifted up the datamass. "You win this round, Stalker. The datamass is yours. Just... pass her over." Zephyr grunted, and Stalker chuckled.

"Smart choice from a noob like you. Toss it over. I'll let the bird go." Stalker unwrapped his arm from Zephyr, and as he did, Ash threw the datamass at Stalker's direction. However, as if in slow motion, Ash vanished, teleporting to the Stalker at breakneck speeds. Before the Stalker could realize it, Ash successfully drop kicked him in his chest, knocking him far back. In the same movement, Ash grabbed the datamass and landed on both feet, turning back to Zephyr.

"Now _that's_ a secret technique," Ash chuckled to Zephyr, before he unsheathed his Nikana.

"God, you're dumb... now's the time for us to go, Ash!" Zephyr shouted, holding her arm. Ash shook his head.

"He'll just pursue us. I'm going to shake him off of the trail, get going." Ash slowly moved towards Stalker, who levitated himself back up to his feet. He growled deeply. "Now, Zephyr. I'll hold him off."

"Are you mental? He's way stronger now than he was before and—"

"Zephyr, you heard what I said," Ash sternly replied, cutting Zephyr off. "Get to your Landing Craft and leave, don't worry about a thing. I'll make it out of this." Zephyr wanted to say something else, but couldn't.

"...Alright. If you don't make it back, I get your Nikana!" Zephyr said, running off to her Liset.

"H-hey, we didn't agree on that!" Ash shouted, almost losing focus for a moment. Stalker made a mad dash towards Ash, and Ash stood his guard, preparing to attack.

"Bring it on, you son of a bitch!"


End file.
